How to Start Fun Sexy Conversations with Women - Confusion is NOT Attractive
In my years of teaching guys how to approach women, I've noticed that guys who won't approach generally fall into 2 categories.
- Don't have a CLUE what to say or do
- Have TOO MANY ideas on what to say and do
Now, the interesting thing is that NEITHER guy will approach, but for VERY different reasons.
You see, the first guy won't approach because he feels out of his COMFORT zone and will worry that he'll make a FOOL out of himself or that people will LAUGH or make fun of him.
I like to use the analogy that it would be like deciding you want to play guitar, and your first lesson is to go on stage at an open mike night before you have even learned to play a chord.
I'd be freaking out too if put in that situation.
But the second guy... he has likely spent hundreds of hours studying material on Internet forums. Maybe he has even bought a few e-books on how to pickup women.
And based on all this material, he has created a list as long as your arm of opening lines, stories, routines, and even gambits like palm reading or mind reading as part of his bag of tricks.
He thinks he is prepared, but you know what usually happens with a guy like this... he DOES NOTHING!
It's The Dreaded Analysis Paralysis!
I don't know where I first heard the expression "Analysis Paralysis", but it's a perfect description of what happens to the second guy.
He has so many options on his list (or in his brain), that when he sees a woman instead of walking up to her confidently IMMEDIATELY, he instead begins to run down his list of 173 opening lines and decide which one to use.
If he manages to pick one before the woman leaves (or some guy that knows what he's doing begins talking to her), he then runs through his 87 attraction stories to decide which one to use.
Okay, he's got the opener and the story, but wait, how does he transition from one to the other. And what's the next story.
And which routine should he use if she brings up the 'boyfriend objection.'
And what approach angle should he use.
And...
Kind of painful to even think like that isn't' it?
I know it makes my brain hurt.
But even if he was to figure his approach before the chance to meet her was gone, fact is he has ALREADY BLOWN IT with her by waiting to approach (and with any other women nearby too).
If you have been reading my tips newsletter for awhile, have taken a workshop, or you're a VIP member, you KNOW that I stress how CRITICAL the first impression is to your success.
And standing around trying to figure out what you're going to do and say, when you've got over 1000 possible combinations is NOT going to make a powerful first impression!
Confusion Will Get You Nowhere
I don't care who you are, sorting through all of that in your mind will put you in a state of confusion (at least temporarily), and it's impossible to be CONFIDENT when you are confused.
And I'm sorry, but dazed and confused isn't attractive.
So let me summarize briefly, we have two guys, one who won't approach because he doesn't know what to do, and another guy who doesn't approach because he has TOO MANY choices on what to do.
Surprisingly enough, the solution to BOTH of those problems is the SAME. And it's not only just plain simple, it is at the foundation of the Active Learning system we have developed at PickUp 101.
A Stupid Simple Solution
The key to success here is to have ONE routine that is EFFECTIVE for each COMMON situation.
Now I'll break this down for you as you follow along.
*ONE* converation to rule them all!
Did you ever see the movie Groundhog Day?
In the movie Bill Murray gets to relive the same day over and over again until he gets the girl he was ment to be with.
Natuarally he learns from each interaction until he knows exactly which direction to take the conversation to allow them to connect.
In our workshops we call this a 'conversational thread'. This is a good description, since it MUST feel like a completely naturla conversation even though you LEAD the conversation to a specific place.
You would actually get a worksheet, and over the 3-days of exercise based training, we help you build a routine stack which fits YOU and your PERSONALITY.
For example, in the Art of Attraction workshop your conversation will include the OPENER, use of KINO, a STORY from your life, and BANTER lines.
As your routine stack gets built, you PRACTICE IT over and over again BEFORE you go out and do field work in the clubs. (Remember, you never want to go on stage till you practice first!)
This routine stack provides you with over 3 minutes of material. Then you TEST for attraction. If you haven't got attraction in 3 minutes. Move on! If you have, transition to rapport.
Simple isn't it? That's the idea. When you know EXACTLY what to do, it frees your mind to focus on actually doing it well.
In less than 20 approaches, your skill level will skyrocket because you are practicing CORRECTLY each time.
Effective = Repeatable Formula That Works
Simply put, you want to use tools that are known to work, and by work I mean women find YOU attractive right away.
Another great thing about doing the same thing over and over is, if it's not working, you will realize it quickly and can FIX it.
In the beginning it is best to have someone more experienced help you to figure out what's not working and why. Go out with a more experienced wing once in a while.
If you can't do that, ASK the women. It takes brass balls, but you'll get KILLER FEEDBACK straight from the horse's mouth.
This process is really a matter of testing to find what works, and then DON'T CHANGE IT when it does work.
I'll talk about this process more in a future tips newsletter, because it's important for all phases of your game.
Pick The Low Hanging Fruit
By a COMMON situation, I mean one that occurs in your area all the time. Don't make this difficult for yourself, the idea is to get good fast, so soon you'll have more dates than you ever imagined possible.
You can eventually have a specific method for very unique situations, but in the beginning that will work AGAINST you. It's really better to wait till you are more advanced to do that.
For now, start with one scenario, and work that one UNTIL you begin to get positive RESULTS.
As an example, we do the field work for our first workshop (Art of Attraction) in nightclubs.
Now we get a lot of guys who say "I don't want to meet girls in clubs", and frankly neither do I, but it's the BEST place to PRACTICE so you can get good FAST.
You'll consistently find more women in less time at a night club than ANYWHERE else, unless you happen to be friends with Hugh Hefner and get invites to Playboy Mansion parties all the time.
Another common situation is what we refer to a 'daygame', which really means meeting women in everyday situations. This is where we do our fieldwork in the Art of Rapport workshop.
You can use the same 'routine stack' in daygame, with just ONE ADDITIONAL piece... a pre-opener. (I cover the pre-opener in great detail on my Fearless First Impressions program.)
Wash. Rinse. Repeat!
So you can (and should) just have ONE EFFECTIVE routine that you can use in the two most COMMON scenarios. Then PRACTICE.
In no time at all, you won't have to think about what to say or do, and you'll be CONFIDENT during your approach. In other words your first impression will be getting more powerful with EACH repetition.
At that point, you could begin a new routine stack for daygame. Maybe this time experimenting with using Direct approach methods. But KEEP your original that you now KNOW is working for you.
Over time you can develop a method for loud clubs, book stores, gymnasiums, quiet lounges, parties, shopping malls, coffee shops, etc.
Keep Adding To Your Toolbox
Think of it like building a set of tools. In the beginning you may just get a hammer, set of screwdrivers, pliers, and some wrenches. A basic toolbox that handles your most common needs.
Later you find you need a drill and a bubble level to hang pictures on the wall. Another time you decided you want to repair your bathroom so you get a caulk gun, and pipe wrenches.
Eventually you get a table saw, mitre box, and belt sander to do carpentry.
This is what I and my instructors do, in each new scenario, we come up with new tools as needed. But we all started with just one common scenario and got that down pat.
Do It Now - An Assignment
So here's some homework for you... take out a piece of paper right now, and write down a common situation where you would like to meet women.
Next, plan out exactly how it should go. Remember to include the approach, body language, and especially to use kino right away.
Rehearse it in your mind (successfully of course), and then set a time to go out and practice. Don't change anything until you do it at least 10 times, 20 is better. Make small changes only.
If you have a wingman, tell him what you are doing so he can help you out.
Do it today. You'll thank me later.
Now, go meet some women.
Your Friend,
Lance Mason
P.S. Want a KILLER resource for building your routine stack?
If you want to know EVERTHING I've ever learned about how to successfully APPROACH a woman, then you'll want to get a copy of my Fearless First Impressions program.
It's a complete A to Z encyclopedia of my ten years of hard earned experience of how to successfully 'open' a conversation with women every time.
Get yours now before they're all gone:


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