How to Start Fun Sexy Conversations with Women - Lance and Daniel Demonstrate the Back-Pocket Opener

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How to Start Fun Sexy Conversations with Women - Lance and Daniel Demonstrate the Back-Pocket Opener

I've put together a quick video showing you one of my favorite ways to start conversations with women.

I'll show you what it looks like, explain why I use it so often, and detailing the elements you need to make it work for you.

PickUp 101 Instructor Daniel Johnson also demonstrates one of his favorite ways to get sexy conversations that is actually quite different.

These examples are easy to use throughout the day because they can get great conversations started under almost any situation you'll encounter.

Cheers,

Lance Mason

P.S. - This 10 minute video hardly scratches the surface of what I have to teach on opening fun & flirty conversations. If you want to find out more, then check out http://www.FearlessFirstImpressions.com. It's 5 DVDs on everything I know about opening: Any woman, Any time, Any place!

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Scott says:

January 14, 2009

cool video.

it’s really helpful seeing it in action, and especially getting to hear the timing of what you’re saying.

also, what you were talking about at the beginning about first impressions is right on… I was just thinking back to some recent interactions with women I’ve had where I totally thought I was doing better than I was. lookining back now, it’s because the initial impression wasn’t good at all!

Martin says:

January 14, 2009

Hey!

I didn’t like the first example at all. Soo artificial and not really congruent. Bringing her to laugh by rating her flirting-ability might work in a bar when everybody is drunk (not my game).

BUT, you really broke down the steps nicely and explained each purpose. This helps me much more and now I can think of variations and applications for my style.

Thanks ;)

HMF says:

January 14, 2009

Not to sound like a skeptic or anything, but all that is bullshit, it’s in a contrived environment, the girl he approached already is assigning high value to him.

He could have said, “do you have the time, goo goo gaa gaa I eat my own shit” and she would have responded. plus this guy is extremely good looking.

Al says:

January 14, 2009

Excellent video. Seein you do actually doing the pick up in front of us is amazing. What’s great too is the way you explained all the finer points which although I’ve been in the game for a while have never seen before. You rock, Lance!

Fred says:

January 14, 2009

I love it! Good to see the step-by step approach, and the importance of getting the timing right. I like the playfulness, definately gonna strive more for that in future interactions.

Rod says:

January 14, 2009

Good info. Keep em coming.

Iztok says:

January 14, 2009

yea, i agree! great insight of the whole communication as it looks like in real life…i like it how Lance goes into details of a real situational “pick up”…though i have a questions as i dont like that communication is based on current good vibe…what if i am in a bad mood?
later, I.

Jane says:

January 14, 2009

What you and DeAngelo and Strauss and all the guys in this field are doing is helping men gain confidence around women. And that’s good. Because, bottom line, it’s confidence that attracts women.

Good job,
Jane

Omar says:

January 14, 2009

I like the way you dissect the beginning of a relation by going back to what you did up to the first impression Great video, short, simple and very easy to do. Please keep doing it

Chilldogg says:

January 14, 2009

Anyone know we re this clip is from ?

James Rice says:

January 14, 2009

This video drives home the need to have a standard opening that will work anywhere. looking back at my own openings, I have always felt stressed when trying to come up with something off the cuff and not feeling and appearing relaxed trying to come up with the next untested line. This really focuses on the need to keep doing it over and over until it feels good. Very good demostration.

Thogwummpy says:

January 14, 2009

Sorry, man…but I’d NEVER open any approach with the phrase “excuse me…”, because that it the immediate indicator of the ‘nice boy’—and it automatically lowers a man’s status to a woman. That phrase may be a courteous habit, but it’s toxic, and is like stepping into a pot hole up front. Avoid “excuse me” at all costs. He should know better!

TRex says:

January 14, 2009

Hey, Lance, this is really great! I think in this 13 minute video you just about summed up an effective approach. Gonna have to try this immediately!

Hope you do more of these quick tip videos.

Sam says:

January 14, 2009

Lance / Team
I just wanted to say that I am new to this whole “how to” scene after 15 years of marriage and I like your product. It is different in the way that you never stop servicing the customer, not even after the sale. Your first impression technique is a cool way to put both the guy & girl @ ease during a moment that can be stressful for each. Keep up the good work! You are making a difference.

Sam

eric says:

January 14, 2009

i love this please send me some videos

Paul says:

January 14, 2009

What if you feel un comfortable touching the girls hand or you have had bad experiences when you get to close. The idea of making the girl laugh is great that has worked with me. Some women dont like to be touched to early on and that is tough to get passed.
Thanks Lance

eric says:

January 14, 2009

i love this it is so so pefect please send some more of this staff

Dennis says:

January 14, 2009

The video is very interesting. I have tried what you said and once it is done properly it always work. First impression is so important.

Frank says:

January 14, 2009

Great video, thanks - this is exactly what I need - seeing some of these ideas in action.

mikey says:

January 14, 2009

Feels good. And that is essential. I want to feel good, when flirting. Then I know that the girl feels good too.

benjamin hoppe says:

January 14, 2009

I think Lance’s Techniques would be much more powerful if he didn’t shy off the words as much like “i just came over here to flirt with you”. See pickup podcasts set on what “shyness” is on the gambler interview. AS you can even see from the girl in the video, she is not overly attracted to Lance especially when Lance starts utilizing his shy, almost equivocal tone.

jim elbaor md says:

January 14, 2009

Hi
If one tried to touch someone on the street just meeting them ,you are at risk of really turning off the girl or worse ,she starts screaming don’t touch me

Johnny says:

January 14, 2009

Fantastic video. I’m just amazed. Seeing is definitely learning! Happy to be the second one to leave my comments. More please!

Fojee_Rajpuri says:

January 14, 2009

Hi, I like the work of your company so I took the time to check out this video. It was a good approach in general and I’ve no doubt that it could and probably does work for you.

I do have several small things to say about it, however:

- They might not laugh at the “I’m just here to flirt with you” bit ergo ruining proceedings;
- It does seem to gimmicky- think about how many times she’s been hit on and how many times she’s had to listen to some guy’s “bit” and would probably be more impressed if you hit on her naturally rather than used a “bit”;
- You’re providing a running commentary on the pick-up when you’re telling her you’re hitting on her. Chances are, she knows you are;
- When you do tell her you’re hitting on her you’re putting her on the spot by making her come to a risky decision: “Do I stop and flirt with this complete stranger on the off chance that I might want to get to know him better?”;
- I’m a keen advocate of ‘kino’ but it can be invading if not done well so tread carefully when doing that to a girl you’re trying to pick-up from the street as it might signal warning lights in her mind’s eye. Warning signals might not allow the pick-up to proceed.

That was just me being pedantic but I think you guys are doing a great job in any matter.

Regards from London,

Fojee_Rajpuri

Erik says:

January 15, 2009

Lance,
Good job, but anyone that has taken the AOR will learn that in the workshop. There are so many details that you did, that no one is even mentioning unless you know what to look for. I love how you touch her lightly 4-5 times in each approach before letting her grab your hand. In addition, I love how you turned your body forcing her to turn with you. Also, to the people that think that opener won’t work, I will tell you it does. When I took AOR I used that same opener and it got the girls smiling almost right away. The thing is, it a “direct” approach and going direct shows you have balls size of cantalopes. Thats just my $.02.

randy says:

January 15, 2009

hey just saw your vidio lance but i had just sat down with a couple of girls that had taken my lunch table,when i whalked back and said are u girls joining me for lunch,cause u are at my table, they both embarest,but that broke the ice too meet and qualify two woman that 1 minute before did not know ,and i goofed around with them ,so they felt relaxed with me a total stranger sitting down with them and the one said sit next to her, her hair came down and with in about two minutes,she was telling me her passions and dreams,even the other one as well and she was married,then we started telling jokes to each other so the key to have woman in my life is to defintly make them comfortable around u so that can have a relaxed time ,to do more with u .THANKS RANDY HOUSTON . IT JUST INCREASES THE CIRCLE OF WOMAN AND THE GIRL ON UR VIDIO IS A STUNNER,AND U ARE RIGHT WOMAN WANT THE MAN TO DO THOSE THINGS TO HER CAUSE I HAVE FOUND 99%of woman loved being touched ,and thats way more than what most men do mostly nothing

Lance says:

January 15, 2009

I have continually failed to pick up a girl at my area’s #1 rated night club located in a marina. The bar tenders and managers are my frineds and they say it the hardest club to pick someone up at. However, I have a large yacht moored on the bulkhead and everytime I invite girls to party on board, almost all who I invite show up in numbers of 30 or more (I also invite the guys I know to make it a real party). I had to resort to this show of money to pick up a girl until I used these techniques. Now I can report that nearly every time I approach a single girl with these openers, I succeed. The best part is that now I don’t have to tell them I have a yacht - it’s all me. Thank you very/very much.

Buck says:

January 15, 2009

Hey Lance,
Your smooth dude. I just love watching video’s of this stuff. Keep em’ comin. It makes it really clear to actually “see” what’s going on, rather than read it in an e-book and try and figure out the body language, voice tempo, etc.
In fact I learned a tonne from your segment in David D’s Advanced program on body language. I must have watched that DVD segment 20 times now. I haven’t sat, or stood the same since! LOL
My favorite part of this video was the flirting in the grocery store. I’m going to do that immediatley with a few girls and see what reaction I get. You just cannot describe in words exactly what your doing there… it must be shown on video for it to click.
Here’s a couple ideas for possible future video’s I’d love to see.
1) when you get a bad reaction from a girl in a pick up and she’s really not into it, what are some way’s you can back off and opt out with a bit of class…especially if you have an audience?
2) Post number 3 does make a good point at the end. I’d love to see some of this stuff done by a couple of your students who aren’t great looking guys, but have developed the basics and can pull it off smoothly. Nothing has amazed me more than watching a fat little ugly guy use this stuff and score. It removes all doubt in a persons mind that this stuff works!!
Thanks!!

Noah says:

January 15, 2009

Liked the examples, and Im very possitive having small videoclips like this in my mailbox
Great that you bring down the approach in pieces, step by step.. at first I totally missed that part about the timing. I would definitely have made a fool of myself doing the approach to fast.. eh yeah well I need more practice on being comfortable around beautiful girls and no nervousness.//

Frank says:

January 15, 2009

Helpful, I liked the discussion of what you’re doing, good for building confidence seeing it in action, however Yuko’s response was a little too easy to be believed. Overall, it was pretty good.
Thanks

Tyler Durden says:

January 15, 2009

great basic stuff if i do say so myself, but i like something with a little twist. Neil Strauss shows some great openers in The Game a must read check it out if you’re serious

jack says:

January 15, 2009

send me more video’s………..

G says:

January 15, 2009

I think the video has a good presentation and you seem like a cool guy. However, in regards of the opener, I would’nt say “excuse me” and certainly will not touch her as much, not until she’s starts smiling. Body language seemed good, a smile after its always important, yet during my openers I dont project sexual interest towards them. From my little experience, attractive women 8’s and 10’s are aware of men’s intentions right from the 1st few seconds, therefore I find it more effective when they can’t figure out if I’m attracted to them, or I’m just an interesting guy. Either way, I am open minded, and always willing to experiment … I’ll test-out the opener a few times, and draw my conclusion then. Thanx Lance, sarge on!

Tim says:

January 15, 2009

Major props Lance,
I’m glad you went more in-depth with the “hand test”. I’ve done it with girlfriends in the past but never really tried it on a girl I was picking up. I’ve got to give some major credit to Sean Deacon’s post about texting with a girl(it’s working wonders for me) Here is the link for that for all of you guys http://www.pickup101.com/blog/how-to-text-message-women-with-examples/

Justin says:

January 15, 2009

I was there when he recorded this, and yes, it was a contrived environment, but from the MANY students I’ve taught and seen this taught to, who’ve used this exact approach, I can tell you that it DOES work, no matter what you look like or where you are.

Rake says:

January 15, 2009

Great Introduction to Day Time Interactions, Lance. One of the common problems most of us run into is…What do we do after getting the initial laugh? Some gurus say that do not ask “Where are you from”, “What do you do?”…..What would be a good thing to continue conversation on…..

Rake says:

January 15, 2009

The first video was awesome…..Keep posting them Lance….I love your teaching…You are the best at teaching guys natural stuff..

larry says:

January 15, 2009

thanks alot.I need all the help you got ,but do to my current situation I cant afford to buy your vidieos

aafaq says:

January 15, 2009

hi lance,
This starter was excellent,I had seen you on David D’s advance dating series speaking on body language and i just want to say YOU are a ‘MAN’
david

Kojo Simpson says:

January 15, 2009

I have taken PU101 workshops, and I have tried this opener. It works when done exactly the way Lance does it, even in a cold approach. The element of surprise is what does it. Cool, Lance!
Kojo

Scott W says:

January 15, 2009

I like the idea of asking the time as a misdirection to ease a woman’s defenses. And being upfront in a playful way that your real intention is to flirt. To the gentleman who objects to saying “excuse me,” thinking it’s wussy supplicating, you’ve got to realize you’re not in a bar, you’re approaching her in a random, non-social setting. You want to be as non-threatening as possible. Also known as being an iron fist in a velvet glove.

Suave says:

January 15, 2009

great I have not seen the master Sean videos for quite some time alway great to see the Dojo at work

Suave

Suave says:

January 15, 2009

My bad I meant to say Dojo Lance Mason

Suave

Marco says:

January 15, 2009

Hey Lance

While this can definitely work, I do not like the way how you present it as a ‘magic bullet’. This is exactly how the PU community has been creating ‘PU creeps’ out of men unsuccessful with women but otherwise great guys.

Just imagine, a nervous guy trying this out with a girl in the street, stuttering while he is saying ‘I am just here to flirt with you’, touching her, and then not having anything else to say, or immediately going into banter lines that might work in a bar when people are drunk (such as “Do not look at me like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger”). That would definitely creep a girl out, even if she liked the guy from his appearance.

So, please, do not forget to tell guys that they first have to work on their inner mind, making sure that they are confident around women. Once they are, this stuff could be one of many things appropriate in certain situations, but they might not need it at all.

sam rivers says:

January 15, 2009

good video, like to see hidden camera see it this works in real world. thank you sam.r

sam rivers says:

January 15, 2009

good video. thank you, would like see hidden camera out on the town in real life. that would be interesting keep up the good work. sam.r

J.R.Magdos says:

January 15, 2009

Lance: I find this to be very informative, I am a recent widower and really have very litttle knowledge in the art of picking up women. I will try this approach and see how it works. I especially like the detail in this presentation. With Appreciton :Joe

Mike says:

January 15, 2009

Bud, you have got that soooo right…..timing is everything.

Thanks for the vid……havin a visual and explained is far better than merely reading it. Please, don’t hesitate from polishing off us “rough gems”.

PUA Training says:

January 15, 2009

Lance,

Good video on some day game essentials.
Get in touch if you ever visit London!

-G

AlexSensei says:

January 15, 2009

I enjoyed this video as I do all your work. You give more away free, gems I might add, than what your competitors give away in their full courses. On behalf of men all over the world, “Thanks A Million!”

George says:

January 15, 2009

Yeah Lance you break it down very effectively,I live in Greece and greek women respond to everything you teach…
Just keep posting new videos with this stuff…

Thanks…

Chris says:

January 15, 2009

I loved the way you broke every step down into simple everyday language I can understand! I have a better concept of this now, and you showed it very well!!!

SArge says:

January 15, 2009

“Are u gonna flirt?!” sooooo cheesy…….

Arda says:

January 15, 2009

those videos r really good thanks a lot

nathan says:

January 15, 2009

Great video! Especially if you’re tired of bars/clubs and trying to focus more on day game.

Tude says:

January 15, 2009

The last video was mind-blowing. “Extracting” her from her own world and making her aware that you exist, are worthy of her attention and then potentially making her WANT to be worthy of yours seems to be a key point, at least to me. Lance, thank you!
I want more videos… please! :-)

Sean says:

February 26, 2009

This video is awesome. REAL inspirational. :)

Josh says:

June 20, 2009

uhm yeah, I have to say that even though this shows exactly how to approch a girl in the right way, i just don't feel i can do it, cause i am extremely shy of people, not just girls, i am constantly paranoid about what people think about me, and you know being a Goth i am only interested on Goth girls and there arent any around here. So i don't know what to do, i really don't.

anilpatel says:

July 16, 2009

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jim says:

July 16, 2009

Your jacket is too big player. Looks amateurish.

Chris says:

July 16, 2009

I'm stoked to try out Daniel's movie moment. I like what he said about his deep breath, being there 110%, and imagining himself naked. Just for fun, I think I am going to imagine the girl naked, too. :-)

Carl says:

July 17, 2009

I liked the video, it's good to see applied technique demonstrated. The intense moment seemed the most important and likely to succeed.I live in England where women seem to look at the floor or talk on their phones, or both and I think only something intense has a chance of getting their attention.

cory says:

July 21, 2009

great stuff, the articles are good too! I'm normally a David D. fan, but now, I think Lance is really cool too. I might buy some of his stuff. There are some underlying principles to all of these lines!

J-REDD says:

August 13, 2009

STOP ... DROP ... POP !!!

I get it ...

:-))

Jason says:

August 19, 2009

Great stuff, first impresssions and creating attraction is the key, Attraction is not a choice
Thanks for posting

Ronnie says:

August 25, 2009

Cool. Like how you explain the timing. Enjoy it a lot Regards

Kraven says:

August 30, 2009

I thought the use of the hand touching was too forced and do not feel any real attraction could be established. I did like the break down of the steps and the second example with Daniel was interesting.

I am new to this site but curious to see what else Lance has to offer.

Corie says:

September 02, 2009

I am totally impressed by how that guy drawed the girl in the conversation with his energy. Nice techniques!

Scott says:

September 13, 2009

Lance,

Wow Man! This video has taken me to a whole new understanding of how to approach, open and start building keno. After watching that I realized where ive been going wrong, and my timing was WAY off. Can't wait to see what else you can help guys like me with.

Voice of Reason says:

September 16, 2009

Heres the thing you guys dont get...this is a FAKE situation. The female in question is not a stranger on the street, this is someone Lance already knows. Lance easily manipulates her reaction by using "wrong way" or "right way"... Its not hard (its basic improv acting) even my 6 year old bro can do that with his playmates. If Lance really is good, lets see him try this stuff on the street with a hidden cam. If his geeky banter is anything to go the footage will be hilarious.

mark says:

October 12, 2009

It's great to immediately smile and engage her, but here in the South touching a girl's hand so quickly after you just met her? I don't think taking her hand and asking her to come with you so quickly into the introduction would work, especially if she is walking someplace and trying to get something done. If she's just standing around waiting that might work better. But your smile and confidence is right on target. You have to look like you know exactly what you are doing.

car pictures says:

November 25, 2009

I enjoyed reading the blog, you have a amazing delivery style! I have forwarded a link to my friends, and will surely be back for more reading.

Fernand says:

February 19, 2010

I also don't say excuse me, but just say HEY!, or YO! to bring attention to me.

slowSeduction says:

June 05, 2010

That movie opener was mad creepy.... Even the girls body language was creeped out but for the sake of the talk went along...guys please don't do that... for me, the girl and yourself.

Dan Freeman says:

June 26, 2010

That was quite a vidio display and I found it enlightening and evenmore convincing .

Thanks

Dan

ary says:

June 26, 2010

it is very good thank you very much

ralph says:

June 27, 2010

Hey interesting vid.

The problem is that it is in a seminar setting which of course is staged..
Your point in the touching the person and saying your just flirting with her should get you a smile and a return flirt.........and if it dosen;t YOUR DOING SOMETHING WRONG.......Why does it mean that..?????
Could be the lady has problems at home , or could be she is married or a hundred other reasons..
Sorry to be so blunt , but telling us that WE are doing something wrong is not going to give us any confidence to continue doing it....

what if she gives you that DID YOU JUST TOUCH ME LOOK???How awkward is that eh??

what do you then ??

Let see this thing work in the field cheers Ralp

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