How to Know when She's Attracted...
Believe it or not, women you meet are attracted to you all the time.
I don’t care how old you are, what you look like, or how often you go out - I can promise at least some of the women you met recently were interested in ‘getting to know you better’.
And I’m not talking about women you're not attracted to, either. I’m talking about a woman you met recently that you would have been interested in if you'd known one simple fact... She already LIKED you.
Maybe she was a friend of a friend, someone you met at a party, or even a stranger you struck up a conversation with and then walked away.
She probably thought you were ‘cute’ (which has almost nothing to do with your physical features, by the way) and wondered why you weren’t moving things forward or asking her out.
Because you failed to read her subtle signals, you mistakenly felt like ‘It wasn’t going anywhere’ and just walked away.
Thing is, if you had just known she was attracted to you, none of that would have mattered. You could have just made small talk, asked her out, and probably ended up on a hot date. She was already ‘into’ you, so no fancy stuff required.
So how do I know this is happening to YOU specifically?
Simple... In my years of experience working face-to-face with literally hundreds of diverse guys I’ve seen this problem in every single one of them (myself included!). Many of these guys I only get to spend a short amount of time with - maybe I’ll see him in just three or four conversations with women. Yet even in that incredibly short ‘sample size’ the evidence is obvious.
Usually the poor guy will be talking to some girls, and will then come up to me later looking a bit dejected. When I ask him what went wrong, he’ll say ‘Oh nothing, they just weren’t that into me’.
Funny thing, though, when I talk to the girls they will often say "He seemed like a cool guy, why did he leave?" Often I’ll even bring the same guy back into the conversation and watch him collect a number from one of those same girls that supposedly wasn’t interested!
So How Do You Tell If She Is Attracted You?
Before I tell you exactly what to do, lets take a look at what we know about attraction. And let’s be clear that when I say ‘attraction’. I’m talking about physical attraction - the feeling that makes you want to spend time with someone, NOT the logical process that decides how to act on it.
So what do we know about physical attraction?
First of all, it’s PHYSICAL. It’s in her body. Not her mind, or her words, but her physical body. So to test for it reliably you have to test her physical reaction to you. You don’t test it with speech, or logic, but with touch (this can be very subtle, by the way - more on that later...)
Second of all, it’s PRIVATE. Attraction is, after all, a very personal reaction to another human being. Keep in mind that if a woman finds a man attractive (especially a man she just met) she may not want everyone to know about it. And women certainly don’t want someone they are attracted to ‘flaunting’ that attraction for everyone to see.
Her attraction for you is a private and personal response - keep it that way.
So how do you construct a physical but private ‘test’ for attraction?
To See if She’s ‘into’ You, Just Touch Her Hand!
Obvious, isn’t it?
And while you’re probably doing this to some extent, you may not be aware of all the opportunities here. In fact, there is a very rich ‘language’ of hand holding, and if your not extremely fluent in that language then you are definitely missing out on several physical and private ‘conversations’ that women would like to have with you.
To do this best you should look at physical touch as a natural part of normal communication. Touching lightly in a friendly way is an important skill. It warms everyone up to you as a friendly, confident person, and makes all kinds of non-sexual touching completely natural.
When I am talking to a group of people, and I want to ‘test’ an attractive woman’s physical response to me, I will simply position myself next to her, and gently slide my hand around her arm and down to her hand.
I do this while in conversation, and it seems very natural (most people don’t even notice since this takes place below eye level). I don’t have to hold her hand for long, I can get all the information I need very quickly.
‘Reading’ Her Reaction
Think back on your own experiences and notice the following range of reactions you can get when first touching a women’s hand:
The ‘Cold Fish’: At first, some women will pull away or not even let you touch their hand. If you can get her laughing or have a detailed conversation with her then you can try again later. She may warm up to you, otherwise I would consider moving on. Let’s face it, if she won’t even hold your hand in an innocent and friendly way, you are most likely going to be disappointed by any contact you have with her in the future.
The ‘Maybe-Later’: Sometimes, a woman will rest their hand in yours, in a comfortable but non-committed way. If the woman is very shy, this alone could be a good sign, but for most women you’ll want to amp up the charisma and try again in a few minutes.
The ‘Wrap Around’: If you place your hand in hers and she wraps her hand around yours, she is saying "I like you... this feels nice". At this point you should wrap your hand around hers too - this is what you want. When I first go to touch a woman’s hand I immediately try to initiate this kind of touch to see if she is receptive to it. If you are comfortable with the idea of touching women, you may be surprised at how often you get this instant reaction from women you just met!
Continuing the 'Conversation'
If you get to the ‘wrap around’ you can now show her that you are a man who understands how to communicate on a physical level. Without holding her hand for to long at a time, you can quickly try out the following techniques:
- With her hand in yours, you can give her a very gentle, quick squeeze.
- You can swing her hand playfully like a little child.
- You can playfully push her hand away.
- You can slowly interlock fingers for a while.
If you do something she doesn’t like, she will usually pull her hand away. If you do something she likes, she might squeeze your hand to let you know.
If things are going really well, you might try to play with her fingers gently, or you can tickle her palm. You can hold onto her thumb, or wrap her pinky with your index finger.
Are you starting to ‘get it’?
There is a whole language describing different levels of intimacy, comfort and attraction. If you go out and play around with this, you will learn the language.
If a woman communicates with you on this level, even for a short period of time, that’s a very strong message. Because this communication is physical and private, it’s a reliable indicator that she’s at least comfortable with you, there’s some chemistry, and she would like to take steps to get to know you better.
Congratulations!
To be in conversation with an attractive women and KNOW that she is ‘interested’ you will give you the confidence to have fun, and enjoy just being yourself for the rest of the interaction. This truly is an experience most men who are always ‘second guessing’ the interaction never get to enjoy.
Soon I'll tell you what you need to do to make sure you are able to get a date with her consistently and easily.
Now go meet some women.
Your friend,
Lance Mason
P.S. I've done my best to explain the 'hand test', but if you want to SEE it in detail you can check out my Physical Confidence
program. It has tons of details on the physical interactions early on in meeting women that will make ALL the difference in how she sees you. AND whether she wants to see more of you. Check it out at:
http://www.physicalconfidence.com
