I'd like to spend some time today answering a question about that body language that I hear all the time.

Here we go:

*** QUESTION ***

Hi Lance,

I've got a question for you.

Background:  I'm not familiar with much of your body language material.  There is a monthly mailing on the way, but until I get it, here's my question:

Say I am in a dance club and I approach two women sitting at a table together.  How much "leaning down" do I do?  Do I

A)  stand to project a more confident image

B)  lean down to get close to their faces to facilitate conversation

C)  squat so that my head is down at table height, as waiters (and baseball catchers!) do.

Thanks,
Douglas

*** MY RESPONSE ***

Wow, we had a *lot* of questions on body language, I picked this one to answer since it was short and simple.

First off, let me say that there's two ways to answer this question, the guidelines we use for training and then there's the *real* answer.

Let me explain what I mean.

Most guys would tell you to always stand to project a more confident image, and in a way they're right.

After all, standing is a safe thing to do - you're not going to make any of the huge mistakes the most guys would.

If you lean in you risk the chance of coming off like a needy dork by 'pecking' your head in at her.

Squatting down is a bit risky too.  Some would say you are showing to much interest in her by squatting down.  Personally I have done this effectively when I needed to, but I have noticed that, since it's not a very comfortable position,  things get very awkward if I stay there for very long.

So the guideline answer for a guy who is just learning what it feels like to project more confidence with your body is to stand.

On the other hand, the *real* answer is that once you learn to project confidence with your body, you can do any of the above and everything will be fine.

The real answer is that if you are really projecting confidence (which means you are feeling confident as well) you can and, squat, or even, God forbid, LEAN IN to talk to a girl and, as long as you feel comfortable in what you are doing, that confidence will project out in the WAY you are doing it.

When I mentioned this in a lecture I gave on body language I even people were so shocked to hear me say this they demanded a demonstration.

Without batting an eye, I approached one of the seated students, head on, leaning in, breaking every 'rule' that has been listed about body language.

And it was smooooooth... because when you really learn to project confidence, it really does show through in everything you do.

Ask yourself, do you think Brad Pitt or George Clooney pays attention to

Of course not!!!

BUT...

They are so accustomed to looking and feeling confident, that they immediatly notice if something they were doing with their bodies (or there voice or breath, for that matter) somehow projected a lack of confidence or control.

It's almost like an 'automatic warning system' that is always on, and let's them know if what they are feeling and projecting with their body is not in line with there goals.

The GREAT thing about this automatic warning system is that with a little practice, ANYONE can develop it.

And once you have developed it, it is always on for you, letting you know whenever you 'break state' and fall into anything short of complete confidence.

It's not as hard as it seems; honestly, I've had countless guys go through my training and have transformed their body language in a matter of days.

...and you can too by checking out my Physical Confidence Take-Home Training Kit:

Find out more at:

http://www.PhysicalConfidence.com/


Now go meet some women!

Lance Mason


P.S. Believe it or not, even if you have all my DYD stuff, Cliff List talk, V.I.P. Kino talk, the V.I.P. Bodylanguge DVD and you have taking Art of Attraction you still only know a small fraction of what I teach on the subject.

The absolute authority on the topic is my Physical Confidence Take-Home Training kit and its available NOW. Check it out at:

http://www.PhysicalConfidence.com/